Mom, Do You Feel Very Exhausted At The End Of The Day?

“What are you exhausted? But if all you do is take care of your child! ” If someone has ever said this to you, defend yourself strongly. Because according to experts, the exhaustion of mothers is justified and has a name: “hypervigilance stress”.

The situation, as we already know, becomes much more complicated when we combine job responsibility with parenting. However, something that many mothers feel like real pressure is the fact that they cannot “complain” about their fatigue and stress if they choose to stay home for a few months or years to focus on raising their children.

It’s as if they have no right to be exhausted. As if attending, feeding, monitoring, guiding, teaching and educating were tremendously easy, as if the children came “factory servants” and the mother only had to supervise.

It is not like this. In “You are Mom” we want to tell you about this not so well known dimension that should not go unnoticed: hypervigilance stress.

At the end of the day you are exhausted and these are the reasons

We will start by defining what hypervigilance stress is. It is a state of mental and sensory hypersensitivity caused by very specific events: detecting threats and dangers.

• This psychological pressure causes the person to be exhausted, feel more tired than normal and even his character is somewhat more irritable than usual.

Now, the curious thing about all this is that hypervigilance stress is generally associated with “soldiers and war contexts”.

• A soldier has to be aware of any possible threat unleashed around him. You have to observe, tend, anticipate, and always be alert to survive and to keep your team safe as well.

• This state maintained for weeks or months ends up generating a very high stress, where in addition, extreme fatigue and mental exhaustion are added.

You are not a soldier, but almost …

The same goes for parenting. It may seem ironic but it is not at all. A mother – and also fathers – must be alert to, for example , fulfill the feedings every three hours when babies.

• Their cries at night must be consoled, and even on occasions, many mothers get up in the wee hours of the morning to “see if they are well” or because they have thought they heard their crying when it was not.

• As they grow, the dangers increase and a mother must be attentive to everything.  They must take care that certain objects are not swallowed, that they do not fall, that they do not climb up, that they do not tip over from the crib …

You are exhausted because all your senses are deployed like radar 24 hours a day. It’s not just about care, feeding and grooming tasks. We speak above all about mental pressure, the desire that everything is fine, that our child is safe, happy, calm … Because sometimes, a little carelessness brings an accident, a fall and that is something we have a lot to do with. panic.

So if someone jokes about the fact that you are exhausted at the end of the day, stand up for yourself. Your job is like that of a soldier on a battlefield: you have to ensure the safety of what is most precious to you: your child.

Basic guidelines for managing burnout

Being a mother is a job that goes beyond 24 hours a day. It’s something you’ve known for a long time and you’re already more than psyched up about it. Also, you know that this work, that of being a mother makes you happy and is the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Now, it is necessary that you take care of yourself to be able to give the best of yourself to your children. These tips are worth following.

• Delegate tasks. Raising a child is the responsibility of a couple, or, in the case that we are a single parent family, do not hesitate to ask the family for help whenever you can.

• Don’t oversize the dangers. Do not imagine the worst to the point of not being able to sleep at night thinking that your child is going to fall out of the crib or if he is going to suffocate from having put him a blanket. Approach things calmly.

• Don’t spend the whole day at home. Go out whenever possible with your child, meet friends or even sign up for activities that you can do with your baby (midwifery, yoga with children …).

• Try to eat well. Take the opportunity to rest when your child takes a nap, a few minutes of rest on the sofa repair us, relieve us and clear our minds a lot.

Do not be affected by what others may tell you. You have the right to complain and even ask for help if you ever feel overwhelmed. Try to do something throughout the day that pleases you and relaxes you: read a book, walk for a few minutes … You won’t be a bad mother for resting half an hour a day.