Learn How To Say No Positively
Children have the gift of being adorable, but they also have the gift of driving us crazy. Although they tend to be smiling and cheerful, they can get capricious and when something gets into their head … There is no one who will contradict them! In these situations, it is necessary that we learn how to say no in a positive way, but at the same time firmly.
Whether they are our own or someone else’s, most of us have a hard time denying something to a child. They are so innocent, pure and sweet that seeing them sad or angry because of us is unbearable. Still, we must be responsible and make them understand that life is not a hedonistic playground.
The sooner they learn that lesson, the sooner they will learn to live. They have to start developing their tolerance for frustration. And if it is thanks to people who love them, much better.
Don’t be afraid that he will hate you or get mad at you: knowing how to say no to a child doesn’t take much practice. You just have to take a deep breath and keep a cool mind – everything you do will always be for their good, so don’t feel guilty.
Keys to knowing how to say no in a positive way
1.- Explain well what happens
Before making any decisions, talk to him. Explain why you are denying their request and what are your reasons. Do it in a calm way and without raising your voice, because otherwise you will get very nervous.
Sometimes it is better to treat the little ones in a somewhat more adult way. They must acquire responsibilities and learn to behave. If you explain what is happening calmly and slowly, they may even understand.
2.- Stay alert
They may cry, scream, or resort to emotional blackmail. To avoid falling into their networks, try to be alert knowing that it is possible that something like this could happen. Children know perfectly well that older people have a weakness for them and how to take advantage of the situation.
Still, don’t be too harsh on him. He is still a small person with feelings that can be hurt, so if he reacts badly, be understanding and show him that the world is not ending because a request is denied.
3.- Don’t feel bad
Learning how to say no to a child is very difficult and that is precisely why you should feel very proud. Setting limits will prevent him from becoming a rude adult and discovering that things are not always going to be his way.
Don’t feel bad about it even if you feel sorry for it. It is in our hands to educate the new generations and possibly he will do the same when he is older. And no, rest assured: you are not a toxic person for your child, you only care about him.
4.- Be consistent
Nothing to say first one thing and then another. Once your decision is made, there is no going back, even if there are tantrums and tears involved. If you change your mind over and over again, you will confuse the child and he will not know how to react.
A “no” is a “no”. Be consistent and try not to focus your doubts and confusion on him or he may stop listening to you. If he thinks that your decisions vary depending on your state of mind, he will not take you seriously and as your relationship grows, it could get complicated. And that’s the last thing you want, right?
5.- Be assertive
It is important that you be assertive with him. You can say “no” to one thing but “yes” to another. This way he will know that you have nothing against him and that your denial was for his own good. You can also make a deal with him: if he accepts and obeys, you will give him a treat.
Also, when he does, do n’t forget to tell him how proud you are that he is so responsible. This will make you feel good about yourself and consider yourself a person of worth.
In conclusion, it is our responsibility that they learn that, throughout their trajectory, bad things are going to happen to them and that not everyone is going to want to make life easier for them.
Coping with situations of disappointment and frustration in childhood will mature them and begin to weigh the importance of their reactions.
