How To Announce A New Partner To Your Children?
Like any mother, you can feel overwhelmed when announcing a new partner to your children, and it is understandable. The fact of not knowing how they will react can be decisive when communicating it.
Tips for announcing a new partner to your children
You never know what that moment will be like, but by taking certain care you will ensure that it is not a traumatic or negative event in their lives. Here are some tips for talking to your kids:
1.- Be sure
Before announcing a new partner to your children you have to be sure of the relationship. Talk to your partner, see what are the plans you have in common and what is their opinion regarding being part of the lives of your children.
Make sure it is a stable union that will last over time. There is no use exposing your children to this process of change if the relationship has no future.
If it’s just a trial period and you’re really not sure where the relationship is going, it’s best to refrain from introducing him as your new partner.
2.- Talk to his father
Logically this depends on the relationship you have with your ex. If you have a constant struggle or cannot have a conversation, it is clear that you will not be able to dialogue about it.
But if it is an open-minded person with whom you have a good relationship, it would be good if they knew what your plans are so that they can give you extra support.
Your children will surely tell you the situation and ask you questions. It is recommended that they do not catch you off guard so that you can respond to them consistently.
3.- Make things clear
To announce a new partner to your children you must be clear and concise, and avoid misinterpretations. Tell them the role that this new person will occupy in their lives and that they will not replace anyone. He is your new partner but his biological father will continue to occupy that place in the family.
They may perceive your partner as an invader coming to take their places in your heart. Therefore, you must express to them how much you love them and that they are the most important thing in your life.
Answer their questions and accept it if they don’t take it in the best light. Each child is different and reacts in different ways. The important thing is to keep communication open so that you can explain the new situation to them.
4.- Find the right moment
Look for situations where your children feel comfortable, and for that it is best to tell them in advance what you want to do. Talk to them alone and tell them that a new person has come into your life and makes you very happy.
Tell them you want to organize a meeting to get to know each other. You can also tell them about him, what he does and what he is like. Study their reaction and decide whether to give them details about him or just let them discover it at their own pace.
Look for a neutral site, it can be a public space, like the park, for example. Also make sure that the first meeting is brief, so as not to force the moment or the conversation.
5.- Listen to their opinions
When you get home with them, ask them what they thought of the exit. Don’t comment on your partner, just let them express what they feel.
Let them talk to you and ask you anything they want. Keep in mind that their reactions can be:
- Apathy
- Jealousy
- Rejection
- Bad mood
Don’t try to make them sympathetic or like when announcing a new partner to your children. That will happen over time. You must give them space to express their emotions and to adjust to the new member of the family.
And remember, comparisons are not a good idea. Do not say phrases like: “He will take you for a walk more than Dad” so that they like him. Let things flow and your partner earn a place in their hearts.
