Barriers That A Stepfather Or Stepmother Should Not Cross
Having a recomposed family can be an extraordinary experience for all the members of it. They will be able to share love and positive experiences and generate bonds of sincere affection. However, there are barriers that a stepfather should not cross.
The limits regarding the children of our partner must be known and respected. Well, in this way we will achieve a more harmonious and beneficial coexistence for all.
Before establishing a relationship with a person who already has children, it is necessary to understand the importance that the bond between parents and children remains strong so that everything around them works properly. Children should not feel abandoned at any time, and much less before the arrival of a new person to the family.
Try not to have invasive behaviors to prevent the family nucleus from feeling attacked ; you will get better results than trying to impose your will and your way of life. Avoid exceeding these limits for best results.
Barriers a stepfather should not cross
- Try to take the place of the father or mother. It does not matter if the union is the result of a divorce or death, no attempt should be made to replace the figure of the real father. Even if you want your partner’s children as if they were yours, they are not; You have to respect the parenting methods and not demand that they treat you like that person in the family who is no longer there.
- Physically punish children. If it is inappropriate behavior even for your own children, it is even more so for little ones who are not yours. The experience of physical punishment from a new family member can definitely deteriorate the relationship. You need to calm your temper to avoid situations like these.
- Take a position of authority. Young children, especially those under the age of five or six, may be more willing to abide by the authority of a stepparent in the new family; but children who are of school age and adolescents do not usually accept these manifestations.
- Engaging in discussions of your partner with his ex. It can be very tempting to take sides in a conversation or conflict between your husband or wife and their ex, but it’s not okay to meddle at those times. Although there is no romantic relationship, there is a prevailing bond and that of having children together. Avoid taking attributions that are not appropriate to your position.
Other behaviors you should avoid
- Intervene in your partner’s discussions with their children. If you want the relationship with your partner and your children to last, it is better to let them handle their conflicts on their own. An inopportune word can lead to hard-to-remedy resentments and feelings of discomfort in the marriage. Avoid moments of tension by letting problems be solved only with the participation of those involved.
- Contrary the paternal or maternal authority of the ex. If the children’s parents have agreed to rules that must be followed, you should not violate these rules for any reason. Doing so is disrespectful because the right to make decisions and establish appropriate behaviors must be reserved for parents.
- Speak badly of the ex-partner. It does not matter that you consider that he is not a good person or that he has made many mistakes; do not make judgments about one of the children’s parents. Talking in an unpleasant way about a parent can cause you to resent you, and both your partner and their children may feel attacked.
- Put pressure on your partner or get angry about the time they spend with their children. Certainly it is about building a family life together, but it is also necessary to understand that in many moments children need their parents more than you can, so you have to respect those moments of intimacy and learn to share them as a family when may be possible.
Barriers that a stepparent should not cross help preserve harmony
Following the above points will help both your relationship and family coexistence to be more satisfactory. Remember that the main authority and reference figure for a child are their parents and this should be so. Respecting it will save various dislikes and misunderstandings.
