How To Control Sibling Rivalry?
Parents, at some stage of their children’s growth, must mediate between the conflicts that exist between them, and many times they wonder about how to control the rivalry between siblings, and that it does not turn into some type of violence, both physical and verbal.
While this is not always the case, but most of the time, and as a rule, the brothers fight and argue with each other. This happens in certain periods of their ages, when they are younger or teenagers, but even when they are more adults.
Why do the brothers fight?
Siblings fight and have conflicts from the birth of the second son or daughter, since the one who was born first can always feel a feeling of rejection towards his brother or sister, and a feeling of abandonment on the part of his parents.
As they grow, the conflicts will be related to a multiplicity of reasons that will depend both on the personalities of each one and on their interests.
But they will also depend on the characteristics of the upbringing and the education that they receive regarding the type of relationship between siblings that they must develop and cultivate.
Therefore, fights, arguments, tantrums, jealousy and envy can have multiple causes, which can range from the need for protagonism and wanting to be the center of attention, for material objects, or for always wanting to be right. in any circumstance,
Whatever the reason, the brothers, while spending time together, play, share and defend themselves against others, at the same time, they compete and mark territory.
And for parents, it is not only complicated, but exhausting, to mediate between their wars and enmities, while still considering how to control rivalry between siblings.
How to control the rivalry between the brothers?
There are no magic recipes, but there are some tips that can guide parents in this arduous search for peace and tranquility in the relationship between siblings.
- Make them always feel special equally. As absurd as it may seem, there are many everyday situations in which they feel differences in treatment.
- Teach them from a very young age to share absolutely everything. But at the same time also teach them to borrow everything that is not yours.
- Teach them to negotiate and reach agreements. They must learn to make decisions about, if one does it first the other can wait and, if he waits, next time he will be the first. They will learn the terms of the deals they get; the important thing is that they dialogue.
- That they internalize as children that a brother, like any other person, is not yelled at, hit, or pushed. But quite the opposite: he is asked for permission, he is thanked, and he is asked for forgiveness.
- Highlight the behaviors and motivate them for those that are appropriate with their siblings. And emphasize the importance of a good relationship in life with each other in terms of emotional support, trust, loyalty and security that means a strong and united relationship between siblings.
- Ensure that their entertainment and recreational activities do not have any burden of violence, neither physical nor verbal. Whatever they see and consume, they must go through our filter and evaluate its suitability, both in terms of age and content.
- We must avoid comparisons between them. On the contrary, they must feel that with their mistakes and mistakes, they are unique, unrepeatable, and special people.
- Always listen to them, even if we know what they are going to tell us or know their justifications in the face of a fight. But we must attend to their reasons and get, through dialogue, others to understand, in case they are wrong.
Definitely…
We must educate by example. Siblings will not easily succumb to confrontation if they grow up in a climate of peaceful coexistence and constant dialogue. And, of course, if they do not find contradictions between the speeches and the actions of their environment.
