I Am The Mother Of A Girl Who Will Not Need To Be Saved By A Prince

In recent years we have lived through a golden age when it comes to claiming gender equality and women’s rights. In fact, there is something that the mother of today is very clear about: the need to educate her little girl in the value of freedom and courage, and not to give the world a little princess that needs to be saved by a prince charming.

According to what UNESCO explains to us,  one of the main objectives of all societies is to promote gender equality and non-discrimination against girls. Broadly speaking, we all agree on this, which is a logical goal in which it deserves to invest resources, efforts and adequate awareness.

However, there is a fact that escapes us, there is a small “great” nuance that many times we do not perceive and that almost without realizing it, chisels the personality and thinking of our girls. If there is something that we reinforce on a daily basis, it is the value of the physique, we praise their dresses, their hair and we remind them every day of the need for them to be good daughters, good sisters, good couples, good women …

However, under these classic labels, what we actually achieve is to guide their priorities until almost unintentionally reinforcing the classic patriarchal scheme. Let’s promote other areas on a day-to-day basis, other aspects that allow them to be themselves, whatever they want, whatever their hearts dictate.

Let us educate by giving them wings and enough courage so that if at some point the opportunity arises, they can save themselves.

My girl will not be afraid of dragons

To give the world mature, free and brave people who know how to build their own paths, nothing better than offering adequate strategies so that they can manage their fears and insecurities.

• Every girl – like every male child – must be able to face her own fears with our help, rationalizing ideas and controlling her emotions a little better every day.

• When it comes to extinguishing fears, it is necessary to “not feed them”. Thus, the last thing we should do with our daughters is to encourage their dependence on others. Dad should not look under the bed if he is afraid, Mom will not speak for her when she wants to ask for something out loud with the excuse that she is shy.
• From very early on, we will encourage them to face what worries them, those little things that scare every child regardless of their gender and that sometimes some families tolerate more if they are girls.

You don’t have to be a good girl, just be yourself, whatever you want

Be good, stay still, do not say, do not talk, dress well, do not be cheeky, do not attract attention, do the same as others, do not get out of line, out of line, out of dress. .. These and many more phrases, ideas and mandates are those that have always accompanied every girl over several generations.

It is clear that we want our daughters to obey us but rather than educate in the classic scheme of pure and simple obedience, let’s change the approach to promote their abilities, strengths and virtues.

• Educate in sensitivity knowing their needs, their tastes, their passions.
• Educate in equality, do not have preferences with them that you do not have with your male children and vice versa.
• Do not determine them, do not direct their behavior towards what you would like it to be.
• Listen to her, offer her security and offer her responsibilities early on. Make him see that he is capable of many things, of not needing second people for many things. Show her that by trusting herself and her abilities, she can go a long way.

A girl’s self-esteem is not reinforced just by telling her that she is pretty

You can tell him, there is no problem with it. You can tell her every day that she is the most beautiful girl in the world because it is clear that she is. However, don’t do it, don’t exclusively prioritize this approach.

When they introduce us, for example, to the daughter of some friends, it is very common to say that “but how beautiful are you Laura, and what a beautiful dress you are wearing…”. Little by little, little Laura will become so used to the positive reinforcement associated with her physique that she will base her self-esteem solely on that aspect. It is not the right thing to do.

• Ask her what she wants to be tomorrow and listen to her with interest.
• Ask him what books he reads or would like to read
• Praise her way of expressing herself, give her confidence so that day by day she is more assertive
• Remind him that you are proud of how he is, for what he does, for everything he does well and for how he learns every day to be better.

To conclude, your girl is and will always be beautiful, but for you as a mother and as a father she is not the most important thing. What you want is for her to become a woman with her own voice, with her own thoughts and defined objectives  that she knows how to defend and carry out.

Someone free to love and be loved, to conquer any scenario that is within reach. It can be what she wants tomorrow, and no, she will no longer need a prince to save her from anything …