Excessive Parental Control: Keys To Overcome It
As parents, it is understandable that we always want the best for our children. But since they are not born with a manual under their arms, so surely we make mistakes many times. Trying to control everything in our path and that everything goes well, many times we exert excessive control instead of helping. Thus, we hinder the proper development of children, which leads to many problems.
Being parents is not easy
Of course, it is a very complicated subject and it is that each child has a character that is molded as they grow. In this process the influence of parents plays a fundamental role, and if they exercise excessive control, development will not be entirely natural. There are parents who have these attitudes unconsciously, perhaps because they have also received an authoritarian training since childhood.
Guide them on their way, don’t draw it to them
The main thing as parents is to understand that our children have a life of their own. And our duty is to guide them on a good path, not to solve every situation that comes their way. They will grow and must know how to solve each stage of their lives independently.
By controlling our children too much, always seeking perfection, we do not let them develop all their abilities. And therefore, instead of helping, we are slowing its development.
Also do not be complacent in everything
It is not about doing everything our children say, letting them take control of our lives. There must be a balance. Children must learn that there are limits and they must be able to differentiate when a situation is right or wrong.
The idea is that there is a harmonious relationship in which both parents and children feel at ease and can enjoy having a family. Our attitudes as parents must always be positively oriented, acting firmly when necessary.
Children’s behavior under parental control
They usually look for dangerous situations in which they feel the pleasure of challenging their parents. They are children who tend to have emotional deficiencies, always subjected to a lot of pressure. Many times they even feel sad or displaced, which leads them to create fears that can become serious problems.
Low self-esteem
These are children who generally tend to have low self-esteem, as they believe that they are not at the level desired by their parents. They feel like they can’t do anything right, which tends to affect their interpersonal relationships.
Undecided
They are children who are not capable of making decisions for themselves and often find it difficult to accept their responsibilities. They hide from anything that makes them feel out of their tight comfort zone.
Build trust
We must learn to relate to our children in an open way in order to achieve an adequate level of trust. Keep in mind that if your children do not trust you, they will look for someone else, and they may not be the right person and lead them to make bad decisions. While they are small, you can exercise total control, but as the children grow up they may take different paths than the ones we have in mind for them.
Keep in mind that sooner or later your child will stop being a little one, and will move on to the stage of adolescence. A stage feared by parents for all the changes it brings. And that becomes more difficult if you are one of those controlling parents. Your child will completely withdraw from everything that involves control and will seek to express himself in a totally different way than he had thought.
As parents we have to understand that children do not belong to us. We must let them grow at their own pace, with their stumbles, but showing them that we will always be there for them.
