“I’m Here”: The Hope That Rainbow Babies Bring Us

The rainbow baby is the child who comes into the world healthy and strong after a mother has suffered a gestational or perinatal loss. These babies bring more than just happiness, they bring hope and a needed rebirth with which a family can rebuild after the loss of a child.

Something that is not usually talked about so often is about abortions, about the deaths of these babies not reached term or that for whatever reasons, they leave before their time, becoming those star children who live forever in the half of their parents’ hearts.

It is something complex and instantly stark. Many mothers sometimes face a certain social ignorance, a certain insensitivity Because as is often said, it is not the same to lose a 10-year-old child as it is to lose a baby that you have not yet met, who has not yet begun to live.

One aspect that we should be clear from the beginning is that every loss is important, it cannot be compared and each one is experienced in a devastating way. The pain of the loss of a child, even as a result of an abortion, is experienced in many different ways. There will be families who face it with courage, and there will be mothers who fall into a state of deep helplessness to the point of developing depression.

The star children, those babies that are born and die inside the mother are beings that existed, who fought to live and who wanted to grow , but to whom fate denied that opportunity. Something that parents of rainbow babies know well , those who bring hope after a loss, is that they are not there to replace the lost sibling.

Each child has its place in the heart of a father or a mother, each baby is and will be unique even if life took them away before their time.

Star babies and our personal storms

Abortions and gestational or perinatal losses are more common than we think. So much so that it is essential that there is a type of psychological and care protocol with which to care for these families and especially mothers.

• Each woman will experience this loss in a way, but it is necessary that she be able to live the grief in an integral way, accompanied by her loved ones, and in turn, with the support of suitable professionals.

• Nowadays, something that is more and more common is that many women undergo unsuccessful attempts to become pregnant. When they finally succeed, it can happen, not just one abortion, but several.

• This experience can be very difficult. The star children leave and shine very high giving us light, but for a while, what the mother will feel is a storm, darkness and even the desperate feeling that “she herself is responsible” for that loss. A thought that needs to be faced and demolished.

Rainbow babies: hope in a unique face, light in a strong heart

The mourning for the loss of a baby can be long or short but it is always carried in the soul. It is a pain that many mothers carry in private and that in some way, they will always keep inside, although that yes: they will learn to live with it.

For a time, something that is very common in the couple, is the reluctance to try again. The fear is there. However, little by little hope and desire is stronger than fear, and the desire to become parents again, shapes the miracle: the rainbow baby, the child who clears the storm and brings the glow after Darkness.

Having a healthy and precious baby heals, comforts and at the same time restores the mother. That child clears the gray days to hide in a thousand shades, in a thousand sensations where we can embrace life again and that chubby and pink creature who attends us with clean eyes and wanting to eat the world.

In turn, something that parents of rainbow babies are very clear about is the following, dimensions that are worth reflecting on.

• The rainbow baby is not here to replace the star baby.

• The unborn or lost baby will always have a place of its own within the family and in the soul of those parents who will always keep in their hearts that umbilical, golden and strong thread with the child who left before time. .

• The pregnancy of a new child after the loss of the star child, is lived differently. The fear is there, and instantly it is common to feel panic but those emotions are normal and expected. The ideal in these cases is to promote good communication between the couple and the doctors.

• The birth of the rainbow baby is also a way to honor the star baby. This healthy and strong child will allow us to show the love that is in us, what we longed to offer the other baby and that will be reflected in his brother.

We will do our best for both, for the one we have with us and the one who watches us inside a star and sheltered in the middle of our heart.