How To Act If A Relative Disavows You In Front Of Your Child

The family can be a great support, but ultimately, it is the parents who have to educate a child. How to act when other family members intrude on parenting?

When educating a minor, it is essential that there are defined roles within the family. Parents are the ones who discipline and watch over the safety and well-being of their children and are the first authority and reference figures. However, this is made difficult when other adults go beyond the norms and indications of the parents themselves. Therefore, it is important to know how to act if a relative disavows you with your child.

The relationship with the extended family is not always easy. Different generations and personalities come together, each with their different opinions and points of view. And the situation becomes even more complicated when it is the in-laws who tend to interfere in the way we educate our children. However, learning to exercise assertive communication can help us a lot in these types of circumstances.

How to act if a relative disavows you in front of your son?

Grandparents, uncles, cousins ​​and all those relatives who are part of the extended family make valuable contributions to our lives. They provide us with emotional, logistical and even financial support in many situations. In addition, they contribute in a very positive way to the development of minors, since they connect them with their roots and give them a sense of belonging.

However, sometimes certain limits that are basic and indispensable are not respected. Finally, the education of the children is the task and responsibility of the parents and their decisions must be respected and supported by the rest of the adults in the family. When this does not happen, we can find ourselves in an uncomfortable, frustrating and difficult situation to resolve. Therefore, we suggest you take into account the following considerations.

Be flexible

If a family member overrules you with your child, you may perceive their behavior as disrespectful and this may lead to conflict. However, you have to bear in mind that, many times, that is not the intention. Discipline is the job of parents, but grandparents, uncles, and other family members have a more permissive relationship with children. For the same reason, it is normal for them to want to indulge and please them.

This comes naturally and it is important to be flexible about it. Every rule has an exception and granting certain licenses from time to time does not mean losing authority. Therefore, it allows children, within limits, to enjoy these concessions from their families.

Accepting that they buy them gifts, even if they already have everything, or that they offer them their favorite snack, even if it is not the healthiest, will not destroy the educational work that you have been doing, since these are specific occasions.

Set limits

On the other hand, there are circumstances that go beyond indulging a whim and that, by all accounts, go against the values ​​you want to instill in your children. As a mother, you have the right to set limits on your education that must be respected by all. Thus, it is important that you communicate it, assertively, at the very moment it happens.

Many times, to avoid a conflict, we let situations go by hoping that they will not repeat themselves. However, what really happens is that they are climbing until they reach a point where we do not know how to stop them. Therefore, it is necessary to be clear from the beginning.

However, carefully choose the time and place to talk with that family member who you feel is crossing the limits. This type of conversation is preferable to keep alone and, above all, away from children. It would be of no benefit to them to see two adults argue that they respect and consider important in their lives.

If a family member disavows you in front of your child, keep a united front

Finally, it is essential that parents form a united front on these types of issues. It does not matter if it is the family of one or the other; both must establish the norms regarding the education of minors and transmit them to the rest of the family. In the same way, in the event of a transgression or excessive interference by another adult, it is preferable for both of you to discuss the matter with said family member.

If one of the parents takes the side of his family without taking into account the opinion of his partner, the message that the child receives is even more confusing and damaging. Parents have to work as a team.