Recommendations And Techniques For Children To Be Decisive
It is important that children are decisive and, as they grow older, they know how to face and independently solve the difficulties they encounter. In this we parents have a crucial role: to teach them the necessary strategies to resolve their conflicts .
The little ones have to learn to handle the right tools to solve difficulties efficiently . Parents can teach them directly how to do it or indirectly, by watching us implement these techniques. We already know that children learn from their models by observing.
What do parents do when we run into problems?
Above all, it is important that we know how we adults usually react when our children face a conflict. It is clear that, just as we have to face difficulties, the little ones will also have to do it at some point.
Problems can vary in severity, but all children need to have the necessary strategies to be decisive . We are going to see how parents usually react, in general, when our children are faced with a conflict.
We worry excessively and become anxious
If we react with concern or anguish when our children are faced with a problem, they will end up limiting their experiences to avoid worrying us. If we overprotect them in this way, they will end up losing experiences that help them learn , in addition to growing up with fear that we have unintentionally motivated.
We go directly to solving the problem
With this tide of action, the only thing we are doing is preventing them from learning to be independent and to face the difficulties that are presented to them . In this way, we will make them very dependent on us and will not be able to acquire an appropriate level of autonomy to react to daily conflicts.
We are insecure due to our degree of involvement in the conflict
If we are insecure and do not know how far we can or cannot intervene in their problems, children will end up catching these insecurities .
We stay with them to provide them with sufficient autonomy
However, if we allow them to try to solve their conflicts, learning from their mistakes, even though we are there to guide them, the little ones will end up learning and strengthening strategies to resolve the conflicts that arise daily.
Steps to solve conflicts and help children to be decisive
There are several different techniques for conflict resolution. Here we are going to see the steps indicated in the book Social Interaction Skills Teaching Program . So, we can summarize it in 5 steps to resolve conflicts.
Identify the problem so that the children are solvable
The first step that we must carry out is to identify the conflict situation that may exist with other people . For that, we can help ourselves with a series of questions that we can ask ourselves.
- What is the problem and why is it?
- Did we do or say something that could cause the conflict? Why?
- What did the other person involved in the conflict say and do?
- How do we feel about this situation? And the other person?
- What do we want to achieve?
- What do we want the other person to do?
Generate all possible alternative solutions for the problem
In this step, we can generate a brainstorm in which we expose all the possible solutions that come to mind , we can also help ourselves with some questions such as the following:
- How do we think we can resolve the conflict situation?
- Can we do or say something to fix it?
- Can I do something else to solve it?
- Can I think of another solution if I can’t do any of the above?
Anticipate the possible consequences of these solutions and of the actions of others
Whenever we look for solutions, we also have to take into account the possible consequences that each solution would generate . For this, we can also help ourselves with some questions such as these:
- If I implement this solution, what will happen?
- If the other person does, what happens next?
- What do I think will happen next?
- What will I do or say and what will other people do or say?
Choose the solution that best suits to solve the problem after having evaluated each alternative
Once we have weighed the possible consequences of the different alternatives to solve the problem, we will go on to decide which is the one that best suits us .
- Do we think it is good? Why?
- Is it fair?
- How can it affect the other person?
- How will the other feel?
- Will it have short-term and long-term consequences for those involved?
- It is effective?
- Is it the one that interests us the most?
- Do we think it will have a satisfactory result?
Test the solution by putting it into practice and planning how it will be carried out
When we have already done all the previous steps, we only have to put it into practice. We will plan how we are going to carry it out and anticipate the possible obstacles that we may face in order to obtain the results we want. Afterwards, we will evaluate the results of its implementation.
Recommendations for children to be decisive
We have already seen the steps we can take to resolve a conflict, which we can teach our children. Now we present some recommendations that can help us .
- We have to teach them that there is no universal formula to deal with problems , but that they have to be the ones who learn to choose the one that best adapts to the conflictive situation in which they are immersed.
- Another important thing is to convey to our children that conflicts are part of our daily lives and, therefore, we must all learn to face them.
- We can do role-playing games in which conflicts are simulated where the child will have to put into practice the resources learned to solve the problems.
- They have to learn to identify the signals their body gives them when faced with a troublesome situation . This will make them realize the emotions they feel and that how they handle it will depend on their reaction.
- To teach all these strategies, we will try to do it at home , slowly, calmly and alone.
What we can do for children to be decisive …
Ultimately, it is very important that children are decisive and capable of autonomously solving the problems they encounter. The only way to learn and grow is to face all the experiences that life offers you , even if they are not positive at times.
If parents teach them the necessary strategies and techniques so that they know how to properly resolve conflicts, they will not have problems in these confrontations. Remember that practice makes perfect, so you can start games or dynamics to practice conflict resolution .
